People have a trick where they first emphasize something they think they lack as absolutely critical, then raise the bar for defining that thing infinitely high.

Because the bar is set so high, it’s always easy to deduce “I don’t have this thing.” Added with “This thing is absolutely critical, all success depends on it,” what conclusion is reached then?

The conclusion is “Don’t expect anything from me, I’m useless,” plus “It’s not my fault that I’m useless.”

There are many things this technique is applied to, like family of origin, true love, wise teachers, “reasonable social systems,” “proper education,” “basic growth environment,” and so on.

This is quite a powerful tool.

Using “don’t expect anything from me,” one can naturally hide in the corners of any group they can attach to without contributing any effort, exploiting and freeloading substantially by handing out “you’re so amazing” and “I don’t know what I’d do without you” to garner “emotional value” from those who truly carry the weight. And with “it’s not my fault,” one can also evade all self-blame and blame from others.

This is the psychological development path of professional parasites.

A student who always complains that they don\'t have the right resources to succeed. They blame their lack of success on their family, their teachers, and the school system. However, they never take responsibility for their own learning and never put in the effort to succeed.

What deserves vigilance is -

First, resolutely reject this kind of “so amazing” praise. Say it again, you [don’t lack] this worthless “so amazing.” This kind of wholesale cheap goods from the fragile doesn’t prove your value at all.

On the contrary, it wastes your energy, confuses your direction, causes you to frivolously waste your youth or even life for meaningless vanity.

Only recognition from the strong has barely any referential value - to be frank, human recognition isn’t as meaningful as recognition from metrics, the market, and the battlefield - but the strong’s recognition is always a bit better than the fragile’s.

Don’t let yourself deteriorate to the point of “no one recognizes me, even the worst recognition is infinitely precious to me, worth striving for with all my might.”

Note, this doesn’t mean you should punish those who say “you are amazing,” first because not all who say this are fragile, second because this still isn’t an attack or persecution after all. Just that you shouldn’t take it too seriously.

Second, don’t believe to any words like “can’t do without you.”

No matter how big a role you played in something, how important that thing is, in the ultimate sense, there is no such thing as “can’t do without you.”

There is only one kind of “can’t do” in the world - only something that would cause the end of history can be called “can’t do.” Other kinds of “can’t do” are only “can’t do for you,” “can’t do for me,” “can’t do for him/her,” and it’s still just everyone’s own conjectured hindrance.

A student who always complains that they don\'t have the right resources to succeed. They blame their lack of success on their family, their teachers, and the school system. However, they never take responsibility for their own learning and never put in the effort to succeed.

In fact, if you really weren’t there, first the other party may not necessarily be doomed, second, the other party failing once may not necessarily be a bad thing for the world.

So don’t take this kind of “value bribery” either.

Not taking these two kinds of bribes will make you immune to these parasites. Your life’s value will have greater room for realization, and more ironically - you can objectively save many more unfortunate people, and they will absolutely not secretly gloat “this person is easy to take advantage of.”

What you’ll get is true gratitude, awe, and respect, not the kind of lip service, tricks, or even smugness disguised as gratitude, awe and respect.

Every time you see someone engaged in this kind of fragile display, blaming their “failure” on their misfortune, then attacking those who disagree with their judgment, your proper reaction really shouldn’t be “a surge of sympathy and protective urge,” but should be a natural distaste.

An employee who is always taking credit for the work of others. They are constantly seeking validation and praise, but they never contribute anything meaningful to the team.

Remember this point - misfortune alone corresponds only to compassion and relief, not sympathy and favoritism.

Compassion and relief are plain attitudes towards fulfilling human obligations, aimed at “I want to contribute more to society,” “I want to promote social mechanisms to ensure basic living and opportunities for the poor.”

Only to this extent.

On top of a person’s misfortune, other conditions must be added before special individualized treatment should be considered.

If a person is not only unfortunate but also addicted to the thrill of fragility, using fragility as a shield or even weapon, then this extra treatment should point to extra avoidance and coldness.

Why?

Because this kind of special personalized effort is extremely limited in total amount, and should obviously be used preciously, obviously not on those predestined to not cherish it as much, who think a “you are so amazing” is enough to rest easy with a fair “exchange”. For such people, their misfortune should be left to the social relief system. By contributing to society, you fulfill your obligations to them.

Only up to this point. If someone encounters misfortune yet does not complain, still strives tirelessly and does their utmost, only then do they deserve your extra favor and help, deserve you considering special preferential treatment and assistance beyond general social obligations.

An employee who is always taking credit for the work of others. They are constantly seeking validation and praise, but they never contribute anything meaningful to the team.

You must learn to sensitively identify these dangerous characters who use fragility as a pretext from various patterns of behavior, be wary of the vanity and arrogance in yourself that is easily exploited, and cultivate the proper disgust towards “misfortune + fragility” and proper favoritism towards “misfortune + effort.”

This way, not only does it prevent you from ineffective sacrifice, helping you to enrich the more you give, but also helps those who learned the bad habit of fragility from misfortune wake up sooner and obtain extra help the right way.

It is all benefit and no harm.

And those who ask, who chime in with the kind of “childish questions” that provoke pack mentality, are one of the warning signs to be wary of.

Say it again, misfortune alone corresponds only to the obligations of compassion and relief; beyond misfortune, stubborn fragility should be met with vigilance and distance; only misfortune coupled with no complaints or self-abandonment deserves affection and favoritism.

In fact, who in this world lacks misfortune? Not being born into an average household is also a misfortune; never encountering setbacks is also a misfortune. Misfortune is an absolute and universal premise. Before fragility and perseverance, there is no need to add “has encountered misfortune” as a premise. The above strategy can completely discard “misfortune” as a premise and simplify to “the strong deserve joy, the fragile deserve disgust.” You only need to shake off the instinctive fear of “suspected persecution of the unfortunate,” and soberly realize what you are wary of is not misfortune, but stubborn fragility and self-abandonment.

People have a trick where they first emphasize something they think they lack as absolutely critical, then raise the bar for defining that thing infinitely high.

Because the bar is set so high, it’s always easy to deduce “I don’t have this thing.” Added with “This thing is absolutely critical, all success depends on it,” what conclusion is reached then?

The conclusion is “Don’t expect anything from me, I’m useless,” plus “It’s not my fault that I’m useless.”

There are many things this technique is applied to, like family of origin, true love, wise teachers, “reasonable social systems,” “proper education,” “basic growth environment,” and so on.

This is quite a powerful tool.

Using “don’t expect anything from me,” one can naturally hide in the corners of any group they can attach to without contributing any effort, exploiting and freeloading substantially by handing out “you’re so amazing” and “I don’t know what I’d do without you” to garner “emotional value” from those who truly carry the weight. And with “it’s not my fault,” one can also evade all self-blame and blame from others.

This is the psychological development path of professional parasites.

A person who is always asking for favors and handouts. They never seem to be able to stand on their own two feet. They are always relying on others to support them.

What deserves vigilance is -

First, resolutely reject this kind of “so amazing” praise. Say it again, you [don’t lack] this worthless “so amazing.” This kind of wholesale cheap goods from the fragile doesn’t prove your value at all.

On the contrary, it wastes your energy, confuses your direction, causes you to frivolously waste your youth or even life for meaningless vanity.

Only recognition from the strong has barely any referential value - to be frank, human recognition isn’t as meaningful as recognition from metrics, the market, and the battlefield - but the strong’s recognition is always a bit better than the fragile’s.

Don’t let yourself deteriorate to the point of “no one recognizes me, even the worst recognition is infinitely precious to me, worth striving for with all my might.”

Note, this doesn’t mean you should punish those who say “you are amazing,” first because not all who say this are fragile, second because this still isn’t an attack or persecution after all. Just that you shouldn’t take it too seriously.

Second, don’t believe to any words like “can’t do without you.”

No matter how big a role you played in something, how important that thing is, in the ultimate sense, there is no such thing as “can’t do without you.”

There is only one kind of “can’t do” in the world - only something that would cause the end of history can be called “can’t do.” Other kinds of “can’t do” are only “can’t do for you,” “can’t do for me,” “can’t do for him/her,” and it’s still just everyone’s own conjectured hindrance.

In fact, if you really weren’t there, first the other party may not necessarily be doomed, second, the other party failing once may not necessarily be a bad thing for the world.

So don’t take this kind of “value bribery” either.

Not taking these two kinds of bribes will make you immune to these parasites. Your life’s value will have greater room for realization, and more ironically - you can objectively save many more unfortunate people, and they will absolutely not secretly gloat “this person is easy to take advantage of.”

What you’ll get is true gratitude, awe, and respect, not the kind of lip service, tricks, or even smugness disguised as gratitude, awe and respect.

Every time you see someone engaged in this kind of fragile display, blaming their “failure” on their misfortune, then attacking those who disagree with their judgment, your proper reaction really shouldn’t be “a surge of sympathy and protective urge,” but should be a natural distaste.

A person who is always asking for favors and handouts. They never seem to be able to stand on their own two feet. They are always relying on others to support them.

Remember this point - misfortune alone corresponds only to compassion and relief, not sympathy and favoritism.

Compassion and relief are plain attitudes towards fulfilling human obligations, aimed at “I want to contribute more to society,” “I want to promote social mechanisms to ensure basic living and opportunities for the poor.”

Only to this extent.

On top of a person’s misfortune, other conditions must be added before special individualized treatment should be considered.

If a person is not only unfortunate but also addicted to the thrill of fragility, using fragility as a shield or even weapon, then this extra treatment should point to extra avoidance and coldness.

Why?

Because this kind of special personalized effort is extremely limited in total amount, and should obviously be used preciously, obviously not on those predestined to not cherish it as much, who think a “you are so amazing” is enough to rest easy with a fair “exchange”. For such people, their misfortune should be left to the social relief system. By contributing to society, you fulfill your obligations to them.

Only up to this point. If someone encounters misfortune yet does not complain, still strives tirelessly and does their utmost, only then do they deserve your extra favor and help, deserve you considering special preferential treatment and assistance beyond general social obligations.

You must learn to sensitively identify these dangerous characters who use fragility as a pretext from various patterns of behavior, be wary of the vanity and arrogance in yourself that is easily exploited, and cultivate the proper disgust towards “misfortune + fragility” and proper favoritism towards “misfortune + effort.”

This way, not only does it prevent you from ineffective sacrifice, helping you to enrich the more you give, but also helps those who learned the bad habit of fragility from misfortune wake up sooner and obtain extra help the right way.

It is all benefit and no harm.

And those who ask, who chime in with the kind of “childish questions” that provoke pack mentality, are one of the warning signs to be wary of.

Say it again, misfortune alone corresponds only to the obligations of compassion and relief; beyond misfortune, stubborn fragility should be met with vigilance and distance; only misfortune coupled with no complaints or self-abandonment deserves affection and favoritism.

In fact, who in this world lacks misfortune? Not being born into an average household is also a misfortune; never encountering setbacks is also a misfortune. Misfortune is an absolute and universal premise. Before fragility and perseverance, there is no need to add “has encountered misfortune” as a premise. The above strategy can completely discard “misfortune” as a premise and simplify to “the strong deserve joy, the fragile deserve disgust.” You only need to shake off the instinctive fear of “suspected persecution of the unfortunate,” and soberly realize what you are wary of is not misfortune, but stubborn fragility and self-abandonment.