I am upset because my boyfriend refuses to watch “Escape from the British Museum” with me, and we have differing opinions. Can someone with a strong sense of expression provide a summary?

Respecting Differences: The Cornerstone of Relationships

Here is what it is - when a person admires and appreciates something, it represents their dreams and pursuits. If anyone dismisses it carelessly, it constitutes a denial of their values and an insult to their personality.

For example, if you highly respect Zhang San, and Li Si comes up with a statement like “Zhang San is all show and no substance,” Li Si is not just evaluating Zhang San; he is also denying your judgment and values.

Li Si could express his disagreement in a more neutral and polite manner, saying, “Perhaps I haven’t appreciated the essence,” “I may not understand this field deeply,” or even “This is not to my taste” or “I can’t appreciate these things” or “I can’t completely agree.” However, choosing to express himself in a punitive and derogatory way can be seen as a hostile act.

It’s normal for friends and lovers to have different opinions, aesthetic tendencies, pursuit of style, and even political positions and personal beliefs. The essence of being friends, lovers lies in acceptance, respect, kindness, and efforts to understand and appreciate what the other person cherishes.

Every individual should respect the right of others to hold their own views and tastes, even if they are not personally acquainted. What more if that person is a friend or a lover? Respect for the believer is due even if the belief is not shared. Because if we allow personal attacks based on disagreements in values, then is there any hope left for respect amongst us?

If you scoff or disdain in the face of something someone else cherishes, especially when this person harbors feelings for you or expects a different response from you, it is the equivalent of declaring war. Regardless of your personal beliefs or whether you think you’re right or wrong, there are better ways to assert your opinions and inclinations. The issue at stake is not about having different opinions, but rather about violating the basic obligation of respect.

Whether intentional or unintentional, collaborating in such disrespectful expression, especially against a lover, partner or family member, is ultimately a betrayal of one’s own declaration of love and a trampling of the other’s trust. If love encompasses this operation, then is there any substantial difference between love and indifference?

If it is intentional, then the professed love is meaningless - if love can contain such conduct, what’s the fundamental difference between love and not love? If it is unintentional, then there’s also no need for further discussion - until you unequivocally acknowledge that it was a mistake and offer a credible apology, you fundamentally do not know what love means and hence, lack the ability to love.

So, it’s not about me wanting to “break up” or cancel an existing relationship, but rather that the existence of this relationship was a misunderstanding, a lovely yet regretfully corrected illusion.

The relationship never started, to begin with.